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Sunday, August 29, 2010
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Friday, August 20, 2010
Strong as a Willow
My youth disappeared
under spell and dominion,
too powerless, mute, and
too weak to protest
Maid, cook, whore, child
Necessary, I believed, so
I disappeared into their idea
of what I should be
I read their desires as directions
like their force, somehow
My illusion had to be protected
with all my energy and faith
I trusted I would be safe
I told myself it was love
and that it was worth it
I was wrong, I was as good as dead
I was incapable of love
to any degree
There was no emotion
Just a numb, frozen heart
I found memories of a little princess
whose father took his piece
then a procession of narcissists
who either betrayed or enslaved
Yet even a slave is rewarded
Angels arrive, teachers, books
that open my world of silence
and give me my voice
There is no worthless left
just a force and direction
There are beliefs that allow no weakness
and no men left to dominate desire
Now, as I choose,
I am safe within my own walls,
alive in my body, strong as a willow,
as wild, as free.
© 2010 Trace A. DeMeyer
under spell and dominion,
too powerless, mute, and
too weak to protest
Maid, cook, whore, child
Necessary, I believed, so
I disappeared into their idea
of what I should be
I read their desires as directions
like their force, somehow
My illusion had to be protected
with all my energy and faith
I trusted I would be safe
I told myself it was love
and that it was worth it
I was wrong, I was as good as dead
I was incapable of love
to any degree
There was no emotion
Just a numb, frozen heart
I found memories of a little princess
whose father took his piece
then a procession of narcissists
who either betrayed or enslaved
Yet even a slave is rewarded
Angels arrive, teachers, books
that open my world of silence
and give me my voice
There is no worthless left
just a force and direction
There are beliefs that allow no weakness
and no men left to dominate desire
Now, as I choose,
I am safe within my own walls,
alive in my body, strong as a willow,
as wild, as free.
© 2010 Trace A. DeMeyer
Friday, August 13, 2010
Adopt a village
By Trace Hentz (8-13-2010)
I am a Laura Jean Thrall-Bland and I was Tracy Ann DeMeyer.
Split feather – two names – two identities. Confusing, right?
Are any adoptees reading this? How about foster children? How about adoptive parents? Now what I can’t ask is – have any of you given a baby up for adoption? Why can’t I ask? Because there is a shame associated with this for many mothers and there is a stigma attached.
Thank God, little by little this stigma is changing, and views about adoptees who search for their relatives and open their adoptions is changing. Natural moms who want to find their lost child is changing.
What I learned about adoption and statistics in the past several years changed me.
What I discovered in reunion was not as pleasant as I wished, yet an increased awareness helped me write the book, heal my wounds, and transform fear into love.
The more I learned the better I healed.
As for the children who need families, please do not be afraid to become foster parents and legal guardians. Do not rob a child of their identity. Go to Social Services.
I promise you, once you read my memoir, you’ll never look at adoption in the same way again.
I am a Laura Jean Thrall-Bland and I was Tracy Ann DeMeyer.
Split feather – two names – two identities. Confusing, right?
Are any adoptees reading this? How about foster children? How about adoptive parents? Now what I can’t ask is – have any of you given a baby up for adoption? Why can’t I ask? Because there is a shame associated with this for many mothers and there is a stigma attached.
Thank God, little by little this stigma is changing, and views about adoptees who search for their relatives and open their adoptions is changing. Natural moms who want to find their lost child is changing.
What I learned about adoption and statistics in the past several years changed me.
What I discovered in reunion was not as pleasant as I wished, yet an increased awareness helped me write the book, heal my wounds, and transform fear into love.
The more I learned the better I healed.
As for the children who need families, please do not be afraid to become foster parents and legal guardians. Do not rob a child of their identity. Go to Social Services.
I think rich celebrities need to adopt a village, not an individual child. If Madonna can afford it, she should sponsor an entire village in Africa and pay for their food and education, so she can end the cycle of poverty.We can’t fix adoption until we fix poverty, and we know that won’t be easy. Like Gandhi said, poverty is the worse form of violence. Poor families, Indian people on reservations with stifling poverty, their children, and future generations, are my greatest concern right now.
I promise you, once you read my memoir, you’ll never look at adoption in the same way again.
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CALLED HOME: Book Contributors - republished in 2025
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