My youth disappeared
under spell and dominion,
too powerless, mute, and
too weak to protest
Maid, cook, whore, child
Necessary, I believed, so
I disappeared into their idea
of what I should be
I read their desires as directions
like their force, somehow
My illusion had to be protected
with all my energy and faith
I trusted I would be safe
I told myself it was love
and that it was worth it
I was wrong, I was as good as dead
I was incapable of love
to any degree
There was no emotion
Just a numb, frozen heart
I found memories of a little princess
whose father took his piece
then a procession of narcissists
who either betrayed or enslaved
Yet even a slave is rewarded
Angels arrive, teachers, books
that open my world of silence
and give me my voice
There is no worthless left
just a force and direction
There are beliefs that allow no weakness
and no men left to dominate desire
Now, as I choose,
I am safe within my own walls,
alive in my body, strong as a willow,
as wild, as free.
© 2010 Trace A. DeMeyer
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CALLED HOME: Book Contributors - republished in 2025
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This is so awesome....wonderful words to describe your feelings...Love the last paragraph..Strong as a Willow....so true.
ReplyDeletemy favorite lines:
ReplyDelete"Yet even a slave is rewarded"
and:
"My youth disappeared/
too weak to protest"
and
"I disappeared into their idea
of what I should be"
Resonate with me.
This is so awesome....wonderful words to describe your feelings...Love the last paragraph..Strong as a Willow....so true.
ReplyDelete