Sixties Scoop survivor David Smith devotes his time to learning about the culture he has lost

 

The ’60s Scoop robbed his culture. Now he restores it through storytelling

30/09/2022 SOURCE

Sixties Scoop survivor David Smith devotes his time to learning about the culture he has lost. (Mike Heenan/CBC)

When social workers visit David Smith’s community, his sister takes him into the woods.

As a young kid, Smith asked if they were playing hide and seek. I told him they were.

Then they lost one day.

“It was too big to lose that match because I and my brother were sent off,” Smith said. “We both had the same thing happen to us – we got adopted and lost everything.”

Smith and his brother were taken from the Metepenagiag Mi’kmaq Nation as part of the scoop of the 1960s, a period in Canadian history from 1961 to the 1980s, when Aboriginal children were taken from their families and adopted mainly by Canadian settlers.

Smith said he was relatively lucky when talking.

“I had a good family. I love my family. They are still my family. Now I have two families.”

Since the beginning of the year, Smith has reconnected with his culture through First Nations Storytellers, a company he and business partner Gail Bremner launched this summer that provides tours of Aboriginal history in Saint John and surrounding areas in New Brunswick.

David Smith with a tour group. His company, First Nations Storytellers, explores the Aboriginal history of the Saint John region and beyond. (Mike Heenan/CBC)

“I decided, as a way for me to take back my culture, that I would do that and devote all of my time and energy to learning my culture and my language, learning my family history, and sharing as much as possible with people,” Smith said. “So that they can get a better understanding of who we are.”

Watch | David Smith shares the history of the Wolastoq and Mi’kmaq peoples from an Aboriginal perspective:

A survivor of the ’60s Scoop reclaims his culture by educating others

Forty-four years ago, David Smith was moved from his home in Metepenagiag Mi’kmaq Nation. Now, he’s reclaiming his culture by sharing St John’s Aboriginal history.

For Smith in particular, he believed that truth and reconciliation should revolve around supporting Indigenous communities, through infrastructure and attitudes.

“I just want to see a world where not all rivers flow away from society,” he said.

“Not all paths lead me away from society. Not every government policy or all social convention takes me away from society.”

Loss of culture and search for communication

Despite his love for his adoptive family, Smith said his life away from Metepenagiag was isolated.

“I’ve lived in a society where I’m the only one of its kind…and they, kids, aren’t very tolerant. And remember, kids weren’t alone either.”

But Smith was still searching for his culture anywhere he could.

“Secretly I was in the woods, looking at plants, or saving animals and looking for any connection: movies, videos, books, anything I could find that connects me,” he said.

“But I still tried to hide it so much that I met my biological mother once. And I didn’t have the courage to come up to her and say hello.”

When Smith was 16, he was at a gymnasium for a martial arts tournament and spotted a group of Aboriginal parents and children. Smith said that whenever he saw other Aboriginal people, his little eyes naturally gravitated toward them—looking for something to help him understand where he was from.

Although his culture was taken from him, Smith as a child would seek connections to his roots. (Mike Heenan/CBC)

His eyes were dumbfounded at a certain woman he saw.

“It was like when you’re staring at someone in a crowd and you don’t know why you’re staring at them,” he said.

He imagined it might be his mother, but he couldn’t bring himself to go and talk to the group.

“I guess at one point, I didn’t want to be, I just wanted to be normal, which I did until recently.”

He will never have the opportunity to talk to his mother, who died when he was 19. At her funeral, he knew who she was and realized she was at the gym that day.

Smith walks with a tour group. On his tours, he shares familiar stories about the creation of local landmarks such as Partridge Island. (Mike Heenan/CBC)

“I’ve dreamed for years about that moment where I’d walk in and say hi. And just…it never happened.”

Decades later, it was the family that set him on his new path.

Smith has a 16-year-old daughter and wants her to know he was trying to do something important.

In January, he quit his job and embarked on his expedition.

“I hope she makes the journey herself eventually, if not today, sometime in the future, because I don’t want my culture streak to end with me.”

A trip anyone can join

One thing Smith wants to make clear is that he doesn’t know everything there is to know about Aboriginal history and culture.

“I’m not the end, everything, I’m just a guy learning and I want to share my journey.”

Smith said that every piece of feather in his company logo represents an indigenous community in New Brunswick. The colors represent the three countries in the province. (Mike Heenan/CBC)

He’s also trying to fill a gap in St. John’s tourism offerings, which his business partner Bremner noted before founding the company.

One of the company’s tours takes visitors on a walk through time by the Wolastoq River or the St. John’s River. On it, Smith describes the rich history of the area that existed before the arrival of Samuel de Champlain.

During the company’s first summer, Smith said he spoke to groups of 100 and groups of two.

“I will speak to anyone who is willing to listen and has open ears.”

How an Ojibwe grandmother’s adoption fight in Minnesota ended up in the U.S. Supreme Court

For six years, a Native woman from the White Earth Band fought for custody of her granddaughter. In November, her struggle will be heard by the U.S. Supreme Court. The case, Brackeen v. Haaland, threatens the federal law protecting the bond between Native American children and their families and tribes.

 by Nancy Marie Spears October 20, 2022  SOURCE

This article is being co-published with The Imprint, a national nonprofit news outlet covering child welfare and youth justice.

Three white couples who sought to adopt Indigenous children will have their legal cases heard by the U.S. Supreme Court next month. Each of the foster families, including a couple from Minnesota, says the 1978 Indian Child Welfare Act discriminated against them because of their race.

The law, known as ICWA, ensures that tribes have a right to intervene when their members are involved in child welfare cases. And it requires that local governments make extra efforts to protect connections with Indigenous culture and kin. The outcome of the case challenging ICWA, Brackeen v. Haaland, has far-reaching implications: not only for the battle against family separation in Indian Country, but potentially for the foundational rights of tribes in relation to the U.S. government. 

Two of the couples—Jennifer Kay and Chad Everet Brackeen of Texas, and Heather Lynn and Frank Nicholas Libretti of Nevada—gained full custody of the Native children they wanted to adopt.

One of the three sets of plaintiffs in the Brackeen v. Haaland case did not. 

Like the other two couples, Danielle and Jason Clifford of Minnesota ran into laws enacted to address centuries of destructive government policies. Native children have historically been forced to attend abusive boarding schools and systematically placed for adoption into non-Native homes.

But the Cliffords also encountered Robyn Bradshaw. A member of the White Earth Band of the Minnesota Chippewa Tribe, Bradshaw refused to give up her granddaughter, named in court documents as P.S.

“She was the only person who was there for P.S. every single step of the way,” said Conor Tucker, Bradshaw’s attorney of record at the Supreme Court. “The judges changed. The lawyers changed. Sometimes people weren’t there. But Robyn was always, always there.”

After four years in foster care and six years of court hearings, P.S. is now back home with her White Earth community and her grandmother. The 11-year-old is a fan of bike riding and has learned to swim. In addition to sharing movie nights, cartoons, and coloring, Bradshaw has sought regalia so her granddaughter can attend powwows. She’s also introducing P.S. to the Ojibwe language.

The Hennepin County Juvenile Justice Center in downtown Minneapolis on October 14, 2022. Credit: Drew Arrieta | Sahan Journal

In granting the adoption in 2020, a Hennepin County trial court acknowledged the nearly two years P.S. had spent with the Cliffords as a positive foster care experience. But after a long legal battle, the Minneapolis couple did not meet the court’s approval to become her adoptive parents.

“The Cliffords can provide love, attachment, an active two-family household and extended family, and ample financial resources,” the court had ruled the year prior. But her grandmother can nurture her “connection to her tribe, to her Ojibwe culture, to her sister, and to both sides of her family in a way that the Cliffords cannot.” 

The adoption of P.S. through the Minnesota juvenile court is final and not in dispute. But the role ICWA played in hindering the Cliffords’ adoption efforts stands at the center of the larger argument now before the nation’s highest court.

The players in Brackeen v. Haaland

The Supreme Court is set to hear oral arguments in the Brackeen v. Haaland case on November 9. Secretary of the Interior Deb Haaland, a Laguna Pueblo member from New Mexico and the nation’s first Indigenous cabinet member, is a named defendant in the case because she represents the federal agency representing the tribes.

Interior Secretary Deb Haaland at Riverside Indian School in Anadarko, Oklahoma, in July 2022. Credit: Nick Oxford

The case was brought by the state of Texas, Louisiana, and Indiana, along with seven individual plaintiffs. They include three sets of foster parents and one biological mother: 

• the Cliffords, from Minnesota
• the Brackeens, who adopted a Navajo child in 2018 and are seeking to adopt the boy’s half-sister
• the Librettis, who adopted an Indigenous girl in 2018 
• Altagracia Socorro Hernandez, the biological mother of the child the Librettis adopted 

In completing their adoption, the Librettis overcame initial objections by the Ysleta del Sur Pueblo tribe in Texas. But according to court records, the biological father and Hernandez, the child’s mother, were fully supportive. Hernandez, who is non-Native, has stated ICWA was “interfering with her wishes to have the Librettis adopt her baby.” 

All three couples say prioritizing Native homes for Indigenous foster children, and providing additional support to the children’s parents, denies them equal protection. They also say states should not be forced to follow federal law, and that ICWA exceeds the authority of Congress. 

A total of 497 Indian tribes and 62 American Indian organizations, 87 members of Congress, 23 states and Washington, D.C., have filed briefs in opposition to the Brackeen plaintiffs. They detail a dire need to maintain the Indian Child Welfare Act, and to protect the integrity of Indigenous families and communities. Defenders of ICWA maintain that the federal law is not based on race, but on the rights of tribes as sovereign nations who have treaty relationships with the U.S. government. 

Bradshaw chose to speak through her attorneys and their amicus brief in the case. They say she did not intend to be a party to this case and simply wants to live peacefully with P.S. out of the limelight.

Yet her amicus brief now before the Supreme Court is described by the respected Turtle Talk Indigenous legal affairs blog as “unique,” among the dozens that have been filed in the case to date: “The Cliffords’ narrative of facts was allowed to go unchecked throughout the life of the case until now.” 

A child born with her grandmother close

Each of the three plaintiffs in the Brackeen case has a unique set of circumstances. But none can be divorced from history and the high stakes of the case. 

ICWA became law at a time when one in four Indigenous children were separated from their families. In contemporary Minnesota, Native children are more than 16 times more likely to enter foster care than white children. 

According to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services’ Children’s Bureau: “ICWA was enacted after Native American children were systematically removed—often without evidence of abuse or neglect that would be considered grounds for removal—and placed with non-Native families, with the intent to deprive them of their Native family or culture.”

Bradshaw’s granddaughter was among them. 

“P.S. was born on a warm, clear, and breezy day in July 2011,” a brief filed to the Supreme Court reads. 

“Ms. Bradshaw had bonded with P.S. in the womb and saw P.S.’s face for the first time moments after her birth—in the delivery room.”

P.S. and her mother lived with Bradshaw after the birth. And “for the next three years, P.S. was raised in a loving and stable home with Ms. Bradshaw and P.S.’s mother as active, full-time caregivers,” records show. “Ms. Bradshaw fed P.S., bathed her, dressed her, changed her diapers, played with her, sang to her, comforted her, cared for her, tucked her into bed, and woke up the next morning to do it all again.” 

But in 2014, Bradshaw’s daughter “fell into drug addiction and became unable to care for P.S. or to contribute to the household finances,” according to court filings. Bradshaw, taking on full responsibility for her granddaughter while her daughter fought to recover, had limited income and lost her home to eviction. 

Bradshaw and P.S. stayed with friends for a time. But she eventually left P.S. in the care of her father for two days, while finalizing permanent housing. He agreed, but then disappeared with the child, court records show. Bradshaw panicked. She called the police, who filed a CPS report with Hennepin County.

On August 7, Bradshaw learned her daughter and her grandaughter’s father had been arrested on drug-related charges with P.S. present, and the girl had been placed in emergency foster care.

“Ms. Bradshaw immediately called Hennepin County and asked when she could pick up P.S.,” court documents state. “The County told her she could not do so and gave her no further information.” 

Bradshaw had been taken from her home as a child and forced to attend a residential boarding school. So she was steadfast in her determination to reunite with P.S., records show. She “resolved that she would never abandon her granddaughter.”

A Minnesota trial court would later rule that Bradshaw “deeply loved” her granddaughter and the two shared “a strong bond and a secure attachment.”

 

American Indian Child Welfare Gets High-Court Hearing (Podcast)

 

• Justices considering statute meant to keep American Indian families together
• Guest: Cherokee Nation deputy attorney general Chrissi Ross Nimmo

The US Supreme Court is gearing up for its next argument sitting that will feature closely watched disputes about race and identity.

Buried Secrets: Red Cloud takes the lead in uncovering boarding school past

 UPDATED

Pine Ridge school’s Truth and Healing effort looks for long-sought answers

• Mary Annette Pember
• Oct 15, 2022

WARNING: This story contains disturbing details about residential and boarding schools. If you are feeling triggered, here is a resource list for trauma responses from the National Native American Boarding School Healing Coalition in the U.S. In Canada, the National Indian Residential School Crisis Hotline can be reached at 1-866-925-4419.

This story and a two-part podcast are the result of a collaboration between ICT and Reveal to examine Indigenous boarding schools in the United States. The podcast, “Buried Secrets: America’s Indian Boarding Schools,” starts with part 1 on Saturday, Oct. 15, and concludes with part 2 on Saturday, Oct. 22.

Buried Secrets: America’s Indian Boarding Schools Part 2

READ

Settlement reached on IHS pedophile

 

 

A settlement has reportedly been reached between the U.S. government and victims of former Indian Health Service doctor Stanley Weber.

The Wall Street Journal reports, the government will pay somewhere between $1-2 million for each of the eight victims.

The lawsuit against the government claims the Indian Health Service ignored or tolerated Weber’s abuse.

Weber worked for IHS for more than 20 years.

The former pediatrician was convicted of raping and sexually assaulting children he treated in South Dakota and Montana.

In 2020, at age 71, Weber was sentenced to a string of life sentences in prison.

The settlement has not been finalized.

source

HUGE NEWS! Massachusetts OBC ACCESS begins November 3, 2022

 

Massachusetts! The first day of unrestricted rights to the OBC is November 3. Congrats, all, and thanks for everyone's work! https://t.co/jCjY4kw5J9

— Adoptee Rights Law (@adopteelaw) October 13, 2022

Your Land Acknowledgment Is Not Enough

Joseph Pierce contributed an essay in the anthology STOLEN GENERATIONS: Survivors of the Indian Adoption Projects and 60s Scoop: Book 3 in the Lost Children of the Indian Adoption Projects book series.

his new op-ed

Land acknowledgment without action is an empty gesture, exculpatory and self-serving.

by Joseph Pierce October 12, 2022

A protester at the Whitney Museum during the "Nine Weeks of Art and Action." Taken with permission on May 17, 2019. (photo Hakim Bishara/Hyperallergic)

You’ve probably heard one. You may have helped craft one. A land acknowledgment is quickly becoming de rigueur among mainstream cultural and arts institutions. An official will stand at a podium and announce: This building is situated on the unceded land of the XYZ people. As if those people are not still here. As if this all happened in the past. He will breathe deeply and continue: We pay homage to the original stewards of these lands. The audience will nod in agreement. As if homage were the same as returning stolen land.

A land acknowledgment is not enough.

Museums that once stole Indigenous bones now celebrate Indigenous Peoples’ Day. Organizations that have never hired an Indigenous person now admit the impact of Indigenous genocide through social media. Land-grant universities scramble to draft statements about their historical ties to fraudulent treaties and pilfered graves. Indeed, these are challenging times for institutions trying to do right by Indigenous peoples.

Some institutions will seek the input of an Indigenous scholar or perhaps a community. They will feel contented and “diverse” because of this input. They want a decolonial to-do list. But what we have are questions: What changes when an institution publishes a land acknowledgment? What material, tangible changes are enacted?

Without action, without structural change, acknowledging stolen land is what Eve Tuck and K. Wayne Yang call a “settler move to innocence.” Institutions are not innocent. Settlers are not innocent.

The problem with land acknowledgments is that they are almost never followed by meaningful action. Acknowledgment without action is an empty gesture, exculpatory and self-serving. What is more, such gestures shift the onus of action back onto Indigenous people, who neither asked for an apology nor have the ability to forgive on behalf of the land that has been stolen and desecrated. It is not my place to forgive on behalf of the land.

A land acknowledgment is not enough.

This is what settler institutions do not understand: Land does not require that you confirm it exists, but that you reciprocate the care it has given you. Land is not asking for acknowledgment. It is asking to be returned to itself. It is asking to be heard and cared for and attended to. It is asking to be free.

Land is not an object, not a thing. Land does not require recognition. It requires care. It requires presence.

Land is a gift, a relative, a body that sustains other bodies. And if the land is our relative, then we cannot simply acknowledge it as land. We must understand what our responsibilities are to the land as our kin. We must engage in a reciprocal relationship with the land. Land is — in its animate multiplicities — an ongoing enactment of reciprocity.

A land acknowledgment is not enough.

To engage with the land on the land’s terms is an act of reciprocity. Reciprocity, rather than recognition, is what the land requires because that is what it has already given. Are you not alive, breathing, because of this land?

The land exists regardless of settler acknowledgment, which can only ever be the first step toward meaningful action. Next steps involve building relationships with that land as if it were your kin. Because it is. 

NEW! TODAY! One Small Sacrifice is republished: Four Traumas #ICWA

Back in stores soon, ebook is on Amazon Kindle

By Trace Hentz, Blog Editor

After requests and many kind words, the second edition of ONE SMALL SACRIFICE is back on Amazon HERE and it will start showing up in bookstores again, or you can request your local bookstore order it for you.

I never wanted to write about me, but my story helped others and it might help you open your adoption, and process what happened to you.

 

 

👇👇👇This is a reblog from 2012:

 

 

The Special Place of Children in Aboriginal Cultures

Children hold a special place in Aboriginal cultures. According to tradition, they are gifts from the spirit world and have to be treated very gently lest they become disillusioned with this world and return to a more congenial place. They must be protected from harm because there are spirits that would wish to entice them back to that other realm. They bring a purity of vision to the world that can teach their elders. They carry within them the gifts that manifest themselves as they become teachers, mothers, hunters, councillors, artisans and visionaries. They renew the strength of the family, clan and village and make the elders young again with their joyful presence. Failure to care for these gifts bestowed on the family, and to protect children from the betrayal of others, is perhaps the greatest shame that can befall an Aboriginal family.  It is a shame that countless Aboriginal families have experienced some of this repeatedly over generations.  

 By Trace Hentz (formerly DeMeyer)

I saw a photo today (see below) This book cover reminded me of this excerpt and chapter in my memoir.

via

Four Traumas (published in 2012) (10 years later, republished in 2022)

            Now that we have the internet and many ways to find information, I read that adoptees are more traumatized than a prisoner of war. That’s right. It’s called post-traumatic stress disorder. A prisoner of war may escape or be released, but an adoptee may suffer their entire life.

             
I believe there are four distinct traumas in being an adoptee. They are: 1) in utero, when you feel what is happening to you or sense what is coming; 2) when you are delivered, abandoned, and handed to strangers; 3) later when you are told you are adopted and realize fully what it means; and 4) when you realize you are different, from a different culture or country, and you can’t contact your people, or know them, or have the information you need to find them.
            
 It took me years to get this. There are more traumas, too – like when I’d fill out forms at the doctor’s office. I had no medical history. I had no idea if I was sitting next to someone who could be my biological brother, sister, mother or father. It was terrifying to think I could marry my own relative! I could carry a gene or trait that I pass down to my children – and I wouldn’t know until it’s too late. If my birthparents were alcoholics, then I really shouldn’t drink. I could be pre-disposed to diabetes or heart disease or cancer or depression and not even know. My list went on and on.

             
In 2006, I found out my birthmother had diabetes, which came as another shock.

             
I realize a powerful link exists between what I’m feeling, and what happens in my body. Years ago I’d use emotional binging, working more than one job, creating drama, just to numb my emotional pain. By 18 I was a total workaholic!  I blamed myself and hated myself for everything.  What grief, too young to understand. My birthmother’s rejection destroyed my ability to trust anyone.

           
There may be some adoptees who do not wish to heal this and go on as they are, holding on to these sad feelings and self-pity, rather than do the mental work to heal. Recognizing a pattern of belief is tough, partly because you gain sympathy by stealing (or sucking) energy from others when you act sick. That is no way to live. You need to be your own person, self-energizing, and not steal energy from anyone.

            Adoptees are meant to survive this, no matter who we are or how we were traumatized. It’s a test.

            Can we heal our own minds? Yes.

            Can we love two families? Yes.

            Can we take our recovery and story back to our families? Definitely.

           
Some adoptees believe that when we meet mother or father, all pain and agony will disappear. That sadly is just hope. That is not the way it works. A reunion is just one step on the journey and it helps, but there are many many more steps just as difficult. It’s truly a test.       

Regardless of ancestry, creed or complexion, adoptees can heal this. The only one who can fix it is you.

            
 I’m uneasy around new people, reserved and shy at times. I’ve lived through many disappointments. It’s very upsetting to find out about orphan trauma now, years later, knowing no one bothered to tell me or help me while I was experiencing it. 

After multiple traumas, which I’ll describe, I came to terms with it… eventually.

How To Heal? Domestic Violence Awareness Month

During Domestic Violence Awareness Month, StrongHearts Native Helpline is dedicated to eradicating domestic and sexual violence by utilizing a core message of healing

How do YOU heal?

From StrongHearts Native Helpline

It’s easy to tell someone that it’s time to heal. What isn’t so easy is understanding that not everyone heals in the same way or at the same pace. StrongHearts Native Helpline understands that when it comes to healing there is no such thing as one size fits all. That is why it is so important to call attention to healing and to ask yourselves and relatives: How do you heal?

“As traditional people, it is customary to put our loved ones before ourselves. We do this because we love them and want to take care of them. But, when it comes to Native people loving and caring for themselves, it can feel like we are betraying our humble values,” said StrongHearts Chief Executive Officer Lori Jump. “When it comes to healing, we must make a fundamental decision to take care of ourselves and to teach our children that whatever it takes, it’s okay to love ourselves enough to heal from the trauma of domestic and sexual violence.” 

Make a commitment to yourself to identify what you can do to feel better, look better and live better. Please take time to review and enjoy the following tips on self-care and self-love.

What Is Self-Love? 

Self-love means accepting yourself as you are in this very moment for everything that you are. It means putting your physical, emotional and mental well-being first. It means that you recognize that through self-care you can accomplish your goals and live your best life. It means taking care of your own needs and not sacrificing your well-being for others. Self-love and care means not settling for less than you deserve.

Culturally significant ways to practice self-care and self-love can include the following activities:

●      Traditions: Continuing or renewing traditions can promote healing especially when practicing the methods taught to us by our ancestors. It is through our connection to the past that we can find healing; and it is our link to the future that we can guide our children on their own healing journeys.   

●      Ceremony: There are a number of cleansing ceremonies that can induce healing such as participating in a sweat lodge where extreme heat helps our spirit to sweat the tears of trauma as we reflect on our own needs as well as those of our people.

●      Family, Friends and Community: Recognize that as relatives, we are all connected and share a trauma bond born of historical and intergenerational trauma. As such, we must acknowledge that part of our history to begin the healing journey for ourselves and our people.

●      Bonding with Mother Nature: Take a deep breath of fresh air. Walk in green grass with bare feet. A physical connection to Mother Earth can lead to healing especially when on ancestral lands.

●     Vacations: A vacation can be as simple as vacating oneself from a bad conversation or situation, but it can also include longer planned excursions such as: taking a walk, visiting childhood playgrounds, or exploring distant lands. Vacations can restore, refresh or reset a peaceful mindset and spirit. 

For starters, you can practice self-love by:

●      Trusting yourself. Everyone makes mistakes and learns from them. Trust your instincts. You know more than anyone what is best for you. 

●      Talking to and about yourself with love. Honor yourself with praise and love for your personal and professional achievements. Greet your daily activities with a determination to love yourself. You are worthy. 

●      Giving yourself a break from self-judgment. Indigenous people were harshly judged by people who didn’t understand our ways. We lived in harmony with nature — that is something so special that it shouldn’t be hard to see the good in our people. So go easy on yourself. You deserve it. 

●      Forgiving yourself when you make a mistake. Survivors of domestic and sexual violence are often blamed for their abuse. Victim blaming relieves the perpetrator of any wrongdoing. Victims who feel shame should feel strength and resilience in their ability to survive. When you do make a mistake, understand that making mistakes is a learning experience and that self-love and care includes forgiving yourself.

●      Being nice to yourself. Understand that violence against Indigenous peoples began with colonization and healing from that trauma can begin with being nice to yourself. After all, you deserve to be happy. 

●      Setting healthy boundaries. Set healthy boundaries in all your relationships. You can start by telling people when they’ve made you feel uncomfortable. Healthy boundaries may also include ending an unhealthy relationship and doing so may also help you to develop healthy relationships. 

Practice Self-Care 

Self-care involves making healthy choices such as eating nutritious foods and exercising. When you feel healthy, you are more likely to hold yourself in high esteem. Self-care is especially important when setting a good example for the next generation to witness and emulate. 

Go back to the basics:

●      Listen to your body. If you are feeling tired — take a nap. If you are hungry — eat nutritious food. If you are weak — get up and exercise.

●      Take breaks from work and move or stretch. Take a sandwich to work and walk off the calories during your breaks.

●      Put the phone down. Instead, visit someone you’ve been missing or connect with yourself by meditating or doing something creative.

●      Eat healthily but allow yourself to indulge in your favorite foods. For example, dark chocolate is high in antioxidants, which in moderation can actually be good for you.

Self-love and care can include:

●      Mindfulness. Know what you think, feel and want.

●      Stay focused on your needs and give yourself what you would freely give to others.  

●      Practice good self-care by eating healthily, exercising and getting enough sleep which can lead to developing healthy social interactions and intimacy.

●      Give yourself enough time and space to develop healthy habits. Do things, not to “get them done” or because you “have to,” but because you “want to” develop healthy habits.

Be kind, patient, gentle and compassionate to yourself. Take care of you the way you would take care of a loved one.  

●      Manage stress and go for regular medical check-ups.

●      Practice good hygiene because it is good for social, medical, and psychological reasons and reduces the risk of illness.

●      Do something you enjoy every day. Dance, watch a favorite TV show or work in the garden.  

●      Find ways to relax. Meditate, do yoga, get a massage, take a bath or walk in the woods. 

●      Build a sense of belonging by making and maintaining new friendships. Consider joining a health or social club. Sign up for art and/or recreation classes where you can interact with and enjoy meeting new people. 

At StrongHearts Native Helpline, we understand that during Domestic Violence Awareness Month we must be mindful of self-care and self-love in our quest to heal. That is why it is so important for you to ask yourself, “How do you heal?” and let the journey begin.

About StrongHearts Native Helpline

StrongHearts Native Helpline is a 24/7 culturally-appropriate domestic, dating and sexual violence helpline for Native Americans and Alaska Natives, available by calling or texting 1-844-762-8483 or clicking on the chat icon at strongheartshelpline.org. Advocates offer peer support, crisis intervention, safety planning and referrals to Native-centered services. StrongHearts Native Helpline is a proud partner of the National Domestic Violence Hotline and the National Indigenous Women’s Resource Center.

Source 

1. Self-Love and What It Means. Jeffrey Borenstein, M.D. February 2020. https://bit.ly/3CkW3iV
2. Taking Good Care of Yourself. Mental Health America. https://bit.ly/3LUXuHN (Accessed Sept. 29, 2022)