After requests and many kind words, the second edition of ONE SMALL SACRIFICE is back on Amazon HERE and it will start showing up in bookstores again, or you can request your local bookstore order it for you.
I never wanted to write about me, but my story helped others and it might help you open your adoption, and process what happened to you.
๐๐๐This is a reblog from 2012:
The Special Place of Children in Aboriginal
Cultures
Children hold a special
place in Aboriginal cultures. According to tradition, they are gifts from the
spirit world and have to be treated very gently lest they become disillusioned
with this world and return to a more congenial place. They must be protected
from harm because there are spirits that would wish to entice them back to that
other realm. They bring a purity of vision to the world that can teach their
elders. They carry within them the gifts that manifest themselves as they
become teachers, mothers, hunters, councillors, artisans and visionaries. They
renew the strength of the family, clan and village and make the elders young
again with their joyful presence. Failure to care for these gifts bestowed on
the family, and to protect children from the betrayal of others, is perhaps the
greatest shame that can befall an Aboriginal family. It is a shame that
countless Aboriginal families have experienced some of this repeatedly over
generations.
By Trace Hentz (formerly DeMeyer) I saw a photo today (see below) This book cover reminded me of this excerpt and chapter in my memoir.
Four Traumas (published in 2012) (10 years later, republished in 2022)
Now
that we have the internet and many ways to find information, I read that adoptees
are more traumatized than a prisoner of war. That’s right. It’s called post-traumatic
stress disorder. A prisoner of war may escape or be released, but an adoptee may
suffer their entire life.
I
believe there are four distinct traumas in being an adoptee. They are: 1) in
utero, when you feel what is happening to you or sense what is coming; 2) when
you are delivered, abandoned, and handed to strangers; 3) later when you are
told you are adopted and realize fully what it means; and 4) when you realize
you are different, from a different culture or country, and you can’t contact
your people, or know them, or have the information you need to find them. It took me years to get this. There
are more traumas, too – like when I’d fill out forms at the doctor’s office. I
had no medical history. I had no idea if I was sitting next to someone who
could be my biological brother, sister, mother or father. It was terrifying to
think I could marry my own relative! I could carry a gene or trait that I pass
down to my children – and I wouldn’t know until it’s too late. If my birthparents
were alcoholics, then I really shouldn’t drink. I could be pre-disposed to
diabetes or heart disease or cancer or depression and not even know. My list went
on and on.
In 2006, I
found out my birthmother had diabetes, which came as another shock.
I realize a
powerful link exists between what I’m feeling, and what happens in my body. Years
ago I’d use emotional binging, working more than one job, creating drama, just to
numb my emotional pain. By 18 I was a total workaholic! I blamed myself and
hated myself for everything. What grief, too young to
understand. My birthmother’s rejection destroyed my ability to trust anyone.
There
may be some adoptees who do not wish to heal this and go on as they are,
holding on to these sad feelings and self-pity, rather than do the mental work
to heal. Recognizing a pattern of belief is tough, partly because you gain
sympathy by stealing (or sucking) energy from others when you act sick. That is
no way to live. You need to be your own person, self-energizing, and not steal
energy from anyone.
Adoptees
are meant to survive this, no matter who we are or how we were traumatized. It’s
a test.
Can
we heal our own minds? Yes.
Can
we love two families? Yes.
Can
we take our recovery and story back to our families? Definitely.
Some
adoptees believe that when we meet mother or father, all pain and agony will
disappear. That sadly is just hope. That is not the way it works. A reunion is
just one step on the journey and it helps, but there are many many more steps
just as difficult. It’s truly a test.
Regardless
of ancestry, creed or complexion, adoptees can heal this. The only one who can
fix it is you.
I’m uneasy
around new people, reserved and shy at times. I’ve lived through many
disappointments. It’s very upsetting to find out about orphan trauma now, years
later, knowing no one bothered to tell me or help me while I was experiencing
it.
After
multiple traumas, which I’ll describe, I came to terms with it… eventually.
During
Domestic Violence Awareness Month, StrongHearts Native Helpline is
dedicated to eradicating domestic and sexual violence by utilizing a
core message of healing
How do YOU heal?
From StrongHearts Native Helpline
It’s
easy to tell someone that it’s time to heal. What isn’t so easy is
understanding that not everyone heals in the same way or at the same
pace. StrongHearts Native Helpline understands that when it comes to
healing there is no such thing as one size fits all. That is why it is
so important to call attention to healing and to ask yourselves and
relatives: How do you heal?
“As
traditional people, it is customary to put our loved ones before
ourselves. We do this because we love them and want to take care of
them. But, when it comes to Native people loving and caring for
themselves, it can feel like we are betraying our humble values,” said
StrongHearts Chief Executive Officer Lori Jump. “When it comes to
healing, we must make a fundamental decision to take care of ourselves
and to teach our children that whatever it takes, it’s okay to love
ourselves enough to heal from the trauma of domestic and sexual
violence.”
Make
a commitment to yourself to identify what you can do to feel better,
look better and live better. Please take time to review and enjoy the
following tips on self-care and self-love.
What Is Self-Love?
Self-love
means accepting yourself as you are in this very moment for everything
that you are. It means putting your physical, emotional and mental
well-being first. It means that you recognize that through self-care you
can accomplish your goals and live your best life. It means taking care
of your own needs and not sacrificing your well-being for others.
Self-love and care means not settling for less than you deserve.
Culturally significant ways to practice self-care and self-love can include the following activities:
●Traditions:
Continuing or renewing traditions can promote healing especially when
practicing the methods taught to us by our ancestors. It is through our
connection to the past that we can find healing; and it is our link to
the future that we can guide our children on their own healing
journeys.
●Ceremony:
There are a number of cleansing ceremonies that can induce healing such
as participating in a sweat lodge where extreme heat helps our spirit
to sweat the tears of trauma as we reflect on our own needs as well as
those of our people.
●Family, Friends and Community:
Recognize that as relatives, we are all connected and share a trauma
bond born of historical and intergenerational trauma. As such, we must
acknowledge that part of our history to begin the healing journey for
ourselves and our people.
●Bonding with Mother Nature:
Take a deep breath of fresh air. Walk in green grass with bare feet. A
physical connection to Mother Earth can lead to healing especially when
on ancestral lands.
●Vacations:
A vacation can be as simple as vacating oneself from a bad conversation
or situation, but it can also include longer planned excursions such
as: taking a walk, visiting childhood playgrounds, or exploring distant
lands. Vacations can restore, refresh or reset a peaceful mindset and
spirit.
For starters, you can practice self-love by:
●Trusting yourself. Everyone makes mistakes and learns from them. Trust your instincts. You know more than anyone what is best for you.
●Talking to and about yourself with love. Honor
yourself with praise and love for your personal and professional
achievements. Greet your daily activities with a determination to love
yourself. You are worthy.
●Giving yourself a break from self-judgment. Indigenous
people were harshly judged by people who didn’t understand our ways. We
lived in harmony with nature — that is something so special that it
shouldn’t be hard to see the good in our people. So go easy on yourself.
You deserve it.
●Forgiving yourself when you make a mistake. Survivors
of domestic and sexual violence are often blamed for their abuse.
Victim blaming relieves the perpetrator of any wrongdoing. Victims who
feel shame should feel strength and resilience in their ability to
survive. When you do make a mistake, understand that making mistakes is a
learning experience and that self-love and care includes forgiving
yourself.
●Being nice to yourself. Understand
that violence against Indigenous peoples began with colonization and
healing from that trauma can begin with being nice to yourself. After
all, you deserve to be happy.
●Setting healthy boundaries. Set
healthy boundaries in all your relationships. You can start by telling
people when they’ve made you feel uncomfortable. Healthy boundaries may
also include ending an unhealthy relationship and doing so may also help
you to develop healthy relationships.
Practice Self-Care
Self-care
involves making healthy choices such as eating nutritious foods and
exercising. When you feel healthy, you are more likely to hold yourself
in high esteem. Self-care is especially important when setting a good
example for the next generation to witness and emulate.
Go back to the basics:
●Listen
to your body. If you are feeling tired — take a nap. If you are hungry —
eat nutritious food. If you are weak — get up and exercise.
●Take breaks from work and move or stretch. Take a sandwich to work and walk off the calories during your breaks.
●Put
the phone down. Instead, visit someone you’ve been missing or connect
with yourself by meditating or doing something creative.
●Eat
healthily but allow yourself to indulge in your favorite foods. For
example, dark chocolate is high in antioxidants, which in moderation can
actually be good for you.
Self-love and care can include:
●Mindfulness. Know what you think, feel and want.
●Stay focused on your needs and give yourself what you would freely give to others.
●Practice
good self-care by eating healthily, exercising and getting enough sleep
which can lead to developing healthy social interactions and intimacy.
●Give
yourself enough time and space to develop healthy habits. Do things,
not to “get them done” or because you “have to,” but because you “want
to” develop healthy habits.
Be kind, patient, gentle and compassionate to yourself. Take care of you the way you would take care of a loved one.
●Manage stress and go for regular medical check-ups.
●Practice good hygiene because it is good for social, medical, and psychological reasons and reduces the risk of illness.
●Do something you enjoy every day. Dance, watch a favorite TV show or work in the garden.
●Find ways to relax. Meditate, do yoga, get a massage, take a bath or walk in the woods.
●Build
a sense of belonging by making and maintaining new friendships.
Consider joining a health or social club. Sign up for art and/or
recreation classes where you can interact with and enjoy meeting new
people.
At
StrongHearts Native Helpline, we understand that during Domestic
Violence Awareness Month we must be mindful of self-care and self-love
in our quest to heal. That is why it is so important for you to ask
yourself, “How do you heal?” and let the journey begin.
About StrongHearts Native Helpline
StrongHearts
Native Helpline is a 24/7 culturally-appropriate domestic, dating and
sexual violence helpline for Native Americans and Alaska Natives,
available by calling or texting 1-844-762-8483 or clicking on the chat
icon at strongheartshelpline.org.
Advocates offer peer support, crisis intervention, safety planning and
referrals to Native-centered services. StrongHearts Native Helpline is a
proud partner of the National Domestic Violence Hotline and the
National Indigenous Women’s Resource Center.
Source
Self-Love and What It Means. Jeffrey Borenstein, M.D. February 2020. https://bit.ly/3CkW3iV
Taking Good Care of Yourself. Mental Health America.https://bit.ly/3LUXuHN (Accessed Sept. 29, 2022)
Vision Maker Media announces its ninth biennial Vision Maker Film Festival, October 10 to November 13, 2022, in Lincoln, NE and free streaming online.
“Together” encompasses a collection, group, and union in or one place.
Vision Maker Media is celebrating “Together” by gathering American Indian and Alaska Native films for an assembly of in-person and online streaming for the collective. Vision Maker Media chose to recognize “Together” with a graphic of worldwide Indigenous language interpretations of the word “together” to recognize UNESCO and Mexico’s Decade of Indigenous Languages (2022-2023) declaration that calls for “indigenous peoples’ rights to freedom of expression, to an education in their mother tongue and to participation in public life using their languages, as prerequisites for the survival of indigenous languages many of which are currently on the verge of extinction.”
This video is about the Horrible and Terribly True Facts about Christopher #Columbus & #ColumbusDay - The history of Columbus involves, Slavery, Sexual Slavery, Murder, Rape, Torture and horrible persecution of Native people that Columbus described as peaceful and generous.
Follow Human Rights Award-Winning Author, ICT Associate Editor and Public Speaker Vincent Schilling (Akwesasne Mohawk) on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/VinceSchilling
I'm happy to report a successful outcome in the fight to correct this
shameful chapter in US history. Mia Feroleto invited LAURA BRUNO to attend (via
Zoom) "a joint announcement from the board of directors of the Barre
Museum Association and the Oglala Sioux Tribe to learn about current
plans for disposition of the sacred objects held at the Woods Memorial
Library for more than 100 years.
"A
press conference is scheduled for Monday, October 10th at 2:00 p.m.
Eastern Time, 12 Noon Mountain Time when the repatriation of the
artifacts and remains taken from the Wounded Knee Massacre will be
shared with the media. This press conference will be conducted in person
at the Woods Memorial Library in Barre, Massachusetts, located at 19
Pleasant Street and live via Zoom."
It is crucial that Native communities and our allies fight for
authentic, accurate, and contemporary representations of Native
Americans and advocate for the recognition and celebration of Indigenous
Peoples’ Day in their communities.
IllumiNative has created research-informed lesson plans and guides to
advocate and celebrate Indigenous Peoples’ Day in your community. In
our toolkit, you will find case studies, key questions and answers,
messages, a comprehensive how-to-guides on advocating to your
representative and building a coalition, and more.
Celebrating, recognizing & lifting up the work of #Indigenous women: we acknowledge the leadership, sacrifice, & courage of First Nations women & girls who are leading in their communities to take care of the land & pass knowledge to future generations. #IndigenousPeoplesDaypic.twitter.com/l0SICo1ADN
With the reply briefs filed yesterday, all of the briefing
is completed in the Supreme Court case Haaland v. Brackeen. Oral
argument will be at the Court on November 9th. There will be a decision
before the end of June, 2023, though there's no good way to determine
when that will arrive other than that.
Came across this short note in Indian Talk, a 1973 newsletter by and
about Michigan Indians and a precursor to the original Turtle Talk,
referencing a federal lawsuit filed to have Michigan public law 750.160
declared unconstitutional. That law prohibited Dr. Frankenstein and
others from digging up graves, but granted an exception to Indiana Jones
in case he found some Indian bones:
Shay Elbaum at the Michigan law library found a 1974 law repealing the part about “aboriginal inhabitants.”
Can’t find a record of the lawsuit, however. It probably went away when the state legislature repealed the exception.
Canadian Museums Association Urges Repatriation of Indigenous Objects
The report estimates that 6.7 million Indigenous objects and human
remains continue to be held in Canadian institutions, most of which do
not have formal repatriation policies.
A display in the First Peoples Hall of the Canadian Museum of History in 2018 (via Wikimedia Commons)
A major new report
released on Tuesday, September 27 by the Canadian Museums Association
(CMA) calls for greater support and funding for Indigenous organizations
and museums as they pursue Indigenous “self-determination” at all
levels of governance.
The CMA estimates that 6.7 million Indigenous objects and human remains
continue to be held in Canadian museums, with approximately 94% of them
held in eight institutions. The report finds that few museums have
formal repatriation policies and that even fewer of them are publicly
accessible. Currently, only one province, Alberta, has repatriation
legislation. The report also finds that although many museums showcase
Indigenous-related programming and say they value Indigenous engagement,
Indigenous curators and staff members are underrepresented, suggesting
that Indigenous professionals are often slotted into advisory roles.
The report, entitled “Moved to Action: Activating UNDRIP in Canadian
Museums,” was commissioned as part of the nation’s response to Call to
Action 67, one of 94 calls to action issued in 2015
by the country’s Truth and Reconciliation Commission (TRC). The TRC was
established to reckon with Canada’s history of Indian residential
schools, which forcibly separated Indigenous children from their
communities for purposes of assimilation.
Tribes wait for Supreme Court decision in ICWA case
Rosa Soto Alvarez, of Tucson,, holds a flag of the
Pascua Yaqui Tribe as she and other Native Americans stand outside the
federal appeals court in New Orleans Jan. 22, 2020. Parts of a federal
law giving Native American families preference in the adoption of Native
American children were effectively struck down April 6, 2021 by a
sharply divided federal appeals court, a defeat for Tribal leaders who
said the 1978 law was important to protecting their families and
culture. (AP Photo/Kevin McGill)
FLAGSTAFF, Ariz. — When the U.S. Supreme Court hears
oral arguments Nov. 9, 2022 on an Indian Child Welfare Act case,
Brackeen versus Haaland, its decision will decide the constitutionality
of the act, which has been in place since 1978.
In February 2022, the U.S. Supreme Court announced it would hear a challenge to ICWA.
Texas, Indiana, Louisiana and other plaintiffs argued that ICWA is
unconstitutional saying the act violates provisions of the Fifth
Amendment that deal with equal protection and the Tenth Amendment’s
prohibitions on issuing direct orders to states. The act says that
Tribes are given the authority to decide adoption placement of Native
children and states must comply.
While the appeals court ruled in April 2021 that Congress had
authority to enact the law and that ICWA did not violate equal
protections because it is not a race-based calculation, the Court of
Appeals for the Fifth Circuit ruled that provisions of the act violate
the 10th amendment because it “imposes” duties on the states, according
to Scotusblog, a blog devoted to covering the U.S. Supreme Court
comprehensively.
The U.S. government originally enacted ICWA in 1978 because of the
large number of Native American children public and private agencies
removed from their homes.
The act was designed to preserve Native American culture and heritage
by giving Native American children and tribes a say in what happens to
those children by establishing minimum standards for the removal of
Native American children from their families. The act established a
preference that Native children who are removed from their homes be
placed with extended family members or in Native foster homes.
“Some who fiercely assert the evils of ICWA contend that all children
should be treated equally and, therefore, ICWA should be dismantled,”
said Terry Cross, former executive director of the National Indian Child
Welfare Association (NICWA), in 2013. “This argument sounds reasonable
to those unfamiliar with the long history that led to ICWA’s passage. At
that time 20-30 percent of all American Indian children were removed
from their homes…80 percent were placed, often permanently, in white
homes.”
On Aug. 19, the National Council of Urban Indian Health, and five
urban Indian organizations signed on to the National Indigenous Women’s
Resource Center’s amicus brief to the Supreme Court in support of the
constitutionality of the act, according to Indian Country Today.
An amicus brief, commonly known as ‘friend of the court’ is filed on
behalf of an entity who is not one of the main parties in a case.
In the lower court, 486 Tribal Nations, 59 Native organizations, 31
child welfare organizations, 26 states and Washington D.C. and 77
members of Congress offered support for ICWA.
“These supporters recognize that ICWA is firmly in the best interests
of Native children,” said a NICWA press release. “In keeping them
connected to their extended family and cultural identity, the positive
outcomes are far-reaching and include higher self-esteem and academic
achievement. Further, they recognize that collaboration between
sovereign Tribal nations and state child welfare systems is effective
and just governance.”
University of Kansas professor Sarah Deer, filed an amicus brief with
the court, with attorneys Mary Kathryn Nagle and Shoney Blake on behalf
of two women who were adopted by white families, pre-ICWA, and
struggled throughout their lives to reconnect with their tribal nations.
Deer works at the University of Kansas in the Department of Women,
Gender and Sexuality Studies and the Public Affairs and Administration.
She is also a MacArthur fellow and an inductee into the National Women’s
Hall of Fame and is credited for her role in the 2013 reauthorization
of the Violence Against Women Act.
Deer said Brackeen is the first Supreme Court case to address ICWA since Adoptive Couple v. Baby Girl in 2013.
In that case, a Cherokee father was ultimately ordered by the Supreme
Court to turn over his biological daughter to a couple who sought to
adopt her after the court decided that ICWA played no role in the case.
“There is more at stake in this case, however, because one of the
questions to be resolved is whether ICWA is constitutional at all,” Deer
said. “In other words, the Supreme Court could overturn ICWA.”
While people assume the purpose of ICWA is to take Native children
away from white foster or adoptive parents, Deer said that typically
happens only if ICWA is not followed from the beginning and/or is
deliberately ignored.
“Native children in state court deserve to have their Nation involved
in any long-term decisions about custody arrangements,” she said. “And
ICWA is considered ‘gold-standard’ by numerous child advocacy groups,
who appreciate the value of connecting Native children with their
heritage and citizenship.”
Deer said the current numbers and make-up of the court make her worry what the outcome of the ruling may be.
“I’m trying to stay optimistic, but this particular court seems
somewhat hostile to tribal nations,” Deer said. “In addition, Justice
Roberts and Justice Coney Barrett are adoptive parents [of non-Native
children]. As such, they may bristle at any argument that questions the
value of adopting children outside the tribal nation. [Justice] Clarence
Thomas also has a history of suggesting — in dissents — that all Indian
law is potentially unconstitutional.”
Oral arguments are to take place Nov. 9. The Supreme Court will issue a decision by June 30, 2023.
(EAGAN, Minn., September 26, 2022) — During
Domestic Violence Awareness Month in October, StrongHearts Native
Helpline once again is raising awareness about domestic violence and
supporting and honoring survivors and victims. As in past years,
StrongHearts asks that domestic violence advocates, tribal leaders,
reservation and urban Indigenous community members, service providers
and Indigenous organizations come together to support and strengthen the
movement to prevent and end domestic violence once and for all.
According
to the National Institute of Justice, domestic violence
disproportionately impacts Native Americans and Alaska Natives, with
more than 1.5 million Native women and 1.4 million Native men
experiencing violence during their lifetime, often by non-Native
perpetrators. Domestic violence has many faces: physical, sexual,
emotional, cultural, financial and digital. Domestic violence doesn’t
discriminate; and anyone can experience domestic violence, including
children, women, men, elders and LGBTQ2S+ individuals. There is also a
strong connection between domestic violence and thousands of Missing and
Murdered Relatives.
Native nations in the Lower 48 and Alaska Native Villages continually go underfunded for life-saving domestic
violence services. Now in its fifth year of operation, StrongHearts has
received more than 25,000 calls from relatives requesting critically
needed support to deal with intimate partner violence.
During
Domestic Violence Awareness Month, StrongHearts Native Helpline is
dedicated to eradicating domestic and sexual violence by utilizing a
core message of healing. “As traditional people, it is customary to put
our loved ones before ourselves; we do this because we love them and
want to take care of them,” says StrongHearts Chief Executive Officer
Lori Jump (Sault Ste. Marie Tribe of Chippewa Indians). “When it comes
to healing, we must make the fundamental decision to take care of
ourselves and to teach our children that whatever it takes, it’s okay to
love ourselves enough to heal from the trauma of domestic and sexual
violence.”
“With
tenacity, StrongHearts Native Helpline will continue our mission to
restore power to our relatives impacted by domestic violence by
providing a system of safety, sovereignty, support and healing,” says
Jump. “During October and, indeed, throughout the year, we envision the
restoration of our traditional lifeways where everyone is safe, domestic
violence is eradicated, and sacredness is restored.”
About StrongHearts Native Helpline
StrongHearts
Native Helpline is a 24/7 culturally-appropriate domestic, dating and
sexual violence helpline for Native Americans and Alaska Natives,
available by calling or texting 1-844-762-8483 or clicking on the chat
icon at strongheartshelpline.org.
Advocates offer peer support, crisis intervention, safety planning and
referrals to Native-centered services. StrongHearts Native Helpline is a
proud partner of the National Domestic Violence Hotline and the
National Indigenous Women’s Resource Center.
Today, Minnesota Governor Tim Walz issued a proclamation that designates
Friday, September 30, 2022, as a “Day of Remembrance for U.S. Indian
Boarding Schools.” The proclamation states that the United States
pursued, embraced, or permitted a policy of forced assimilation of
American Indian, Alaska Native, and Native Hawaiian people for nearly
200 years. The proclamation comes at a crucial moment when Tribal
leaders, elected officials, and boarding school survivors around the
country are calling on Congress to pass the Truth and Healing Commission
on Indian Boarding School Policies Act (S.2907 / HR 5444).
‘Bones of Crows’ is an emotional account of the intergenerational trauma caused by the Canadian residential school system.
The Canadian history taught in school is a whitewashed version of the
truth, omitting much of the country’s sordid relations with its
Indigenous populations, which have continued to have negative effects to
this day. The last few years have brought appalling revelations that
had been covered up and ignored for so long. After years of silence and
denial, the government formed The Truth and Reconciliation Commission,
providing an avenue for those directly and indirectly affected by the
legacy of the Indian Residential Schools system to share their stories
and experiences. Bones of Crows is a fictional account of one woman’s life before, during and after being forcibly placed in the system.
Born in the 1920s to a large and happy family, Aline Spears (Grace
Dove) and her three siblings were taken from their parents under threat
of prison and sent to residential schools. There, they were subjected to
horrific physical, emotional and sexual abuse at the hands of the
priests and nuns who oversaw their education. As a teen, Aline enlists
in the military, where she meets her husband, Adam (Phillip Lewitski),
and is eventually recruited for a special operation that uses Cree to
transmit secret messages during World War II. After the war, they return
to Canada to raise their children. But she is haunted by the years of
cruelty she endured, only finally able to confront her abusers in her
‘80s.
There are news stories, a day of reflection and professional sensitivity training,
but they don’t capture the impact and scars of this institution of
abuse as well as a film is able. The narrative does an exceptional job
interweaving so many experiences, traumas and repercussions into a
single movie. It highlights the anguish of families forcibly separated,
in many cases permanently; the degradation spewed by the clergy who view
their charges as less than human; the punishment for any miniscule
attempt to maintain the culture and language the schools were meant to
eradicate; the widespread abuse and intentional neglect as superiors
boast about keeping the children in a state of malnutrition during their
own feasts; the countless deaths due to disease and mistreatment; the
sexual assaults that steal their innocence and fill their nightmares;
the substance abuse to hide from the pain of their memories; the
suicides when the hurt becomes too much; and so much more. It also
touches upon the numerous unsolved deaths and disappearances of
Indigenous women and girls in Canada.
Nevertheless, it’s also a story of joy, strength and triumph, both
fleeting and lifelong. As a child, Aline enjoyed sing-alongs and family
meals. She and Adam shared a lot of love, which produced equally loved
children who grow up to have successful careers and their own children.
Aline engages her love of music by playing the piano and passes the
skill on to her granddaughter. One must savour the good through the bad
and the movie strives to capture both, revelling in the joys and not
cowering from the sorrows. This is the story of one family, but it
represents the tale of thousands of Indigenous people across the
country, giving voice and audience to their lived experiences.
Jason
Swartley (left) holds a shell from his biological mother, who died
before he was able to meet her; Lupe Krehbiel (center), adopted at 3 1/2
years old, holds a photo of herself during her first Christmas with her
adoptive family; and Jerome Staab, 37, holds a photo on his phone of
himself and his biological and adoptive siblings. (Molly Adams /
Lawrence Times photos)
The United States has a long history of removing Native American
children from their families and communities, stripping their cultural
identities. Now that a 44-year-old protection is at risk, the threat of
regression is ever present.
The Indian Child Welfare Act (ICWA) of 1978
is a federal law that was passed to give tribal governments some say in
where Native children would be placed in adoption cases. It’s meant to
keep Native children connected to their familial and cultural roots.
ICWA applies only to state family court in cases in which Native
children meet the definition of an “Indian child” — meaning they are
members of, or eligible for membership in, a federally recognized tribe,
according to the National Indian Child Welfare Association (NICWA). In these cases, the child’s tribe has a right to intervene.
Now, ICWA is being challenged at the Supreme Court of the United
States level, which could lead to the law being overturned. SCOTUS
agreed on Feb. 28 to hear a case challenging the constitutionality of
ICWA, Brackeen v. Haaland, and arguments are set for Nov. 9.
“To find after all of these years that it’s unconstitutional would
require a pretty major explanation. But it’s an alarming case,” said
Sarah Deer, Citizen of Muscogee (Creek) Nation.
Sarah Deer
“We try to be optimistic in this work, but it’s very concerning that the court decided to hear this case.”
Deer, who is a legal scholar, tribal law expert and University of Kansas distinguished professor, has co-authored an amicus brief
in the case in which she will help represent two Native adoptees. An
amicus brief, meaning “friend of the court,” is an opportunity to
present to the court additional sides to consider.
“One of the real catalysts for even getting ICWA passed in 1978 were
the testimonies of people who had been ripped from their community and
from their culture. They testified in front of Congress and told their
stories, and parents who’ve lost children through those social welfare
practices of the state also did.
“Those testimonies have always been very, very important.”
Three local Native adults who were adopted into white families as
children shared their stories about the effects that cultural erasure
through adoption has had on their self identities and senses of
community.
‘A tremendous sense of loss’
Jason Swartley, 53, was always told he was Native American but had nothing tangible to prove it to himself and others.
Molly Adams/Lawrence Times Jason Swartley
Because he was born in 1969 and then adopted before ICWA was passed,
he did not reap the benefits of those protections. It was not until
seven years ago that he was finally able to connect with his biological
family.
“A lot of things that would happen today did not happen with me.
Normally a Native child would have been enrolled in their tribe
automatically and then given a lot of information. That was not the case
for me,” Swartley said.
“I was not enrolled, I had no documentation of that [and] I had no
idea what tribe. So it was ‘allegedly’ a part of who I was, but I had no
validation of that. It’s this feeling — a tremendous sense of loss.”
Swartley said his mother relinquished him at birth and he was adopted
into a white family at around 3 months old. Because he was just a baby,
ICWA had not yet been passed and some open record laws were not yet
passed in Colorado, he was never connected with his biological family.
When he was able to find his biological family in early 2015, he said he was “hungry to keep learning more.”
Though he was never able to meet his birth mother and biological
grandmother before they died, he connected with his two biological
brothers and aunt.
Molly Adams/Lawrence Times
Jason Swartley holds a photo of himself with his adoptive family.
Pictured from left to right are Jason, his adoptive father, his adoptive
mother and his adoptive older brother.
“It’s been an incredible journey, I mean, so many powerful emotions
linked to that over the past few years,” he said. “At the same time,
it’s given me a sense of peace and belonging that I don’t know I’ve had
before. All my life I’ve struggled with not being sure who I am, I
think, so to speak, and I think a lot of that at high tide is from quite
literally not knowing who I am.”
Swartley, who’s an enrolled member of the Santee Sioux Tribe of Nebraska, now volunteers as the pantry director of the Kansas City Indian Center
in Kansas City, Missouri as well as individually helps to nurture
Indigenous culture in his community. Giving his three grown children,
four grandchildren and community the connection he was not given the
opportunity to have is important, he said.
In order to move forward, he said, America must reconcile with its
history — both good and egregious. ICWA was passed in response to the
alarming rate of Native children being removed from their homes en
masse, first through residential schools and then individually
through adoption or foster care systems. Swartley said efforts to
overturn ICWA disregard the initial reason the law was created.
A study
during the year ICWA was being passed found that 25-35% of all Native
children were being removed by state child welfare and private adoption
agencies, and of those, 85% were placed outside of their families and
communities.
“We need to teach even those difficult parts of history. We see a
movement today to get away from that — people want to not teach all
these things because they might make someone feel bad. I see parallels
with what’s going on with ICWA. There are so many people who don’t know
the history, or if they do know the history, they want to bury it,” he
said.
“From everything we’ve gone through and everything we’ve suffered,
just having our children removed from us, removed from our culture [and]
removed from their way of life and their traditional values, ICWA is
something that’s needed,” Swartley said.
Molly Adams/Lawrence Times Jason Swartley holds a shell from his biological mother, who died before he was able to meet her.
‘We belonged to the wrong culture, almost’
Given the chance, Jerome Staab would have liked to connect on a
deeper level with his biological mother before she recently became ill.
Molly Adams/Lawrence Times Jerome Staab
His mother has struggled with alcoholism her whole life, and he and
his siblings never knew who their father was, he said. Staab said he’s
been able to piece more moments and information together from his oldest
biological brother, who remembers the most out of all of them.
Growing up, Staab recalls his biological mother always being referred
to in a negative way, but that’s not necessarily how he felt about her.
“She’s an alcoholic, and everyone has their issues, but we were never
given the chance to be connected with her. It wasn’t that she didn’t
want anything to do with us; it was just that my adoptive parents never
built that bridge,” Staab said.
Staab, 37, was adopted into a white family when he was 5 or 6 years
old, along with four half siblings, all with the same mother, and one
cousin. The only memory he has from being adopted was all of them hiding
in the basement or in a closet and the state workers having to
physically remove them from the home.
Staab and the rest of the kids then grew up in Iowa with their
adoptive father, who was a second-generation German farmer, and mother,
who was a school teacher. Their parents had two biological children, who
became the oldest of eight total children.
Molly Adams/Lawrence Times
Jerome Staab holds a photo of himself with his biological and adoptive
siblings. Staab, who’s pictured on the top row, second from the right,
was adopted when he was 5 or 6 years old.
Though he had a happy childhood filled with sports and playing
outside, Staab said his parents made “zero attempt” to expose him to
Native identity as he was raised going to a Roman Catholic church every
Sunday and Wednesday and attended predominantly white private schools.
“It was a difficult journey because in a private school it was all
white people, so you kind of see yourself that way. You don’t see color,
but not in the way that people use the term now,” Staab
explained. “It’s like, you’re just so deeply integrated with all the
kids who are around who look the same that you just kind of assume that
you look the same way, and it’s not until somebody says ‘Hey, you look
different’ that you stop and think ‘Oh, I guess I do look different.’
“We always felt like we belonged, but again, we belonged to the wrong culture, almost.”
Staab, who’s of the Santee Sioux Tribe of Sioux City, Iowa, said it
wasn’t until he attended Haskell Indian Nations University in Lawrence
in 2007 that he learned “what it meant to be Indigenous.”
He now lives in Overland Park with his girlfriend and their
6-year-old daughter. Though he remains close with his adopted family,
specifically his father, Staab said he feels at times he has two
separated identities.
Molly Adams/Lawrence Times Jerome Staab is pictured with his girlfriend, Alessandra Sanitate, and their daughter, Cora.
“The only issue is it’s night and day. I have essentially my white
family, and they’re totally, completely disconnected from my Native
side,” Staab said. “They don’t know anything about it. They don’t
understand the culture. A lot of my Native side … it’s poverty-driven,
all the issues that go with that, and frankly a bunch of kids without
fathers. There’s a lot of aunties and grandmas raising kids.”
Nonetheless, Staab said he holds mostly positive regards toward his life’s course.
“Everybody’s story is unique, and I’m grateful for my different
perspective. I’ve been afforded opportunities to be successful. But
also, I was disconnected from my family, so I lost a lot of my Native
culture, which I had to go back and relearn myself,” Staab said.
“I think ultimately ICWA is a good thing. It’s of course good to keep
Natives with Native families, but it doesn’t always turn out bad [if
they are not].”
Molly Adams/Lawrence Times
‘It was just a lot of displacement’
For the entirety of her life up until about 12 years ago, Lupe
Krehbiel was told she was “Mexican.” That wasn’t true, but she wouldn’t
truly know that until she was well into adulthood.
Molly Adams/Lawrence Times Lupe Krehbiel
“It was just a lot of displacement,” Krehbiel said. “Sometimes I
didn’t know where I fit. I’ve never lived on a reservation, I’ve always
lived in a white family. But you can’t prove it because it’s like ‘Well,
where is your card? What tribe?’ You don’t really know your identity.”
Krehbiel, 54, was born in Texas and adopted into a white family when
she was 3 1/2 years old. Her adoptive mother and father were white, and
she lived with seven adopted siblings. She said her adoptive parents
were able to move her to Kansas and officially adopt her there in the
early ’70s. She moved to California in fourth or fifth grade, where she
grew up, and then moved back to Kansas in her 20s.
Her biological father died when she was a baby; her mother would
leave the older children in charge of caring for the younger kids for
long periods of time; and her grandparents were deemed unfit to care for
them because their grandfather was sick with tuberculosis, she was
told.
Krehbiel’s two biological, older sisters, who were adopted into a
different white family in South Dakota, shared with her about their
lives.
When she was in fourth or fifth grade, Krehbiel said, she would write
letters to one of them before losing contact for a while. She recalls
one sister telling her stories of traveling with their parents, who were
missionaries or preachers, indicating her other biological siblings
were said to be Mexican, too.
Molly Adams/Lawrence Times
Lupe Krehbiel holds a photo book with photos of her and her adoptive
family. In the left photo, she is pictured at center in the bottom row,
and in the right photo, she is pictured standing second from the right.
“They would go to the reservation and people would ask them why they
had Native kids and they would say ‘They’re not Native, they’re
Mexican.’ They said they would be stared at and questioned when they
were little.”
She remembers around 12 years ago on New Year’s Eve when her
biological sister, Mary, called her house phone looking for “Lupita” —
Krehbiel’s full name. By the end of the night, she’d spoken to all of
her biological brothers and sisters.
After reconnecting with them, Krehbiel learned her biological father
and grandfather were Apache. She then dug further into her heritage on
Ancestry.com and found most of her family roots are in Texas, she said.
Krehbiel is now involved with supporting Native American communities
and educating folks about issues such as cultural appropriation through
the Kansas City Indian Center, where she serves as the office manager.
Though she’s found joy in years of submerging herself in community
activism, Krehbiel said she still feels she has to explain herself
because many family members and close friends don’t understand her
Native identity. When sharing about the violence perpetrated against
Native people, she has faced opposition from family members because much
of that history isn’t included in school textbooks, which has been
another reminder of whitewashed history.
She emphasized the importance of continuously expanding one’s mind,
saying, “I’m always learning. If I don’t know, I try to find out.”
Molly Adams/Lawrence Times
Lupe Krehbiel holds a childhood photo of her with all her biological
siblings. Two of her siblings were adopted into the same family, while
she and her other siblings were adopted individually into different
families. Krehbiel reconnected with her biological siblings around 12
years ago.
What’s to come?
As part of her co-authored amicus brief in Brackeen v. Haaland, Deer is working alongside two other Native attorneys and the National Indigenous Women’s Resource Center
to tie together the “crisis of chid welfare in Indian Country to
violence against women,” she said. Deer explained her hope that the
Supreme Court will grasp concepts beyond what is simply in front of
them.
“The pessimist potential is pretty bleak, but that would be that the
court declares that Indian citizens are really a race of people and not
political. That could have huge ramifications for tribal sovereignty
because special treatment of Native people, if we’re a race, would
violate race discrimination laws,” she said.
“So we really need the court to understand that tribal citizens come
in all different races and colors — that it’s a political identity, it’s
not a racial category and that is something I don’t know that all the
members of the court will be able to get their heads wrapped around.”
Staab said the attempt to overturn ICWA contributes to the U.S.
government’s destruction of Indigenous culture, which is why Native
people “have an innate distrust with the government.”
Through repeated violence against Indigenous populations, Swartley said he must rely on inter-community healing.
“That’s just kind of the Native mentality about our songs, our
stories, our dances, our culture — it’s all healing,” Swartley said.
Read more about local leaders and activists who have discussed Indigenous erasure through residential schools at this link; forced sterilization at this link; land/people acknowledgements at this link; Missing and Murdered Indigenous People at this link; and abortion bans at this link and this link. More information about ICWA can be found at this link.
Molly Adams/Lawrence Times Jason SwartleyMolly Adams/Lawrence Times Lupe KrehbielMolly Adams/Lawrence Times Jerome Staab
Note: This post has been corrected from a previous version.
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